Must I have a dream?

Dream a dream,
every day has a dream, has a dream...
I feel that I dream every night.
Sometimes those dreams are fairly beautiful,
however sometimes, they are quite awful!!
Sometimes I may dream about things I've been longing for,
however sometimes, I may meet with those people I hate.
But why do those people I hate appear in my important parties and celebrate together with me?
Why are those things I've longing for taken away by others in my dream?
Why do just a little bit of my endeavor get paid back?
Why do those impossible things happen in my dream??
I know that my luck is either bad or nil,
which means that I either have bad luck or no luck,
but it's all in reality,
how come in my dreams are the same?
Am I suffering a night terror?
Is my life supposed to be like this that I must be a loser for this whole life?
I don't believe in God!!
I always believe in myself!!
I always believe that my life must be dominated only by myself!!
And I did have obtained something I wanted,
I did have changed something I didn't like.
They seem to have proved it!!
However, why do so many extra factors that impede what I'm accomplishing???
Why? Why? Why?
I can't even defend those accidental factors from pulling my steps!!
If I didn't have dreams,
maybe I will never write all of these;
If I didn't have dreams,
maybe I will never trust the God!!
Everyone told me that I'm an optimistic boy!
I hope it is true,
and I hope it can bring me benefits,
even half of my endeavor pay-back.
Must I have a dream??
I don't know what dreams are now!!
Just consider them as garbage,
a kind of relax in life..
Reality is everything!!
Must I have a dream?
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll keep on fighting against everything till I get what I want!!!

An Explorer on Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day has passed.
On that day,
a lot of young and old couples gathered together,
sending roses to each other,
saying "I love you!",
kissing each other ignoring everything around them,
as between each couple is a whole world!!
What a cozy "I love you",
what a cozy kiss.
All of those things, cozy things,
are being waited by me.
Maybe people will think that I'm an idiot due to the words above.
Those making-out,
those words sounds so simple, so common, so ordinary.
that everyone can say it,
but no girl would like to say it to me.
I can say that I'm an explorer on Valentine's Day.
I'm seeking for a girl who loves me.
However,
not only me was seeking for a girl that day,
a lot of guys were.
Money, power,
they can make a person be like a god.
people will follow everything he says,
and it's a goal my parents gave me when I was born.
On the contrary,
I don't agree with them.
Being rich and powerful,
I can get a lot of fun in my job,
how about my family??
After all those money and power I own cannot be taken away when I die.
what I need is just a happy life, cozy family.
maybe my parents are really poor,
they've paid me all of their money to send me here to study.
I must be rich in the future.
Does that mean I have to be "that" rich?
Definitely not!!!
I bet that you can tell what I've been looking for for so many years.
Girlfriend?
Richness?
Girlfriend is changeable,
richness is unstoppable.
A boy, or a man, can get a lot of girlfriends in his whole life,
but A Wife that loves him without any payback is ONLY ONE!!!
Richness, power, or money can get a person many a things he or she wants,
but A Cozy Family, the warm feeling can never be bought,
or, IT IS PRICELESS!!!!
Therefore, that's what richness and power are like!!
And that's what I've been looking for in my life!!
I'm an explorer seeking for a girl that loves me on Valentines' Day!
I'm looking for a chance to be "rich".
Maybe I should take my aunt's advice,
that girl will come to me when it is suitable enough for both of us!!!!!
Or maybe, it is predetermined that my life must be all alone.
I've had a happy, cozy family already,
that's a big family with my parents, grandma and my cousins!!
That's all I have!!!
And they are all good to me!!
Very, very good to me!!
But I'm young,
I need to fly in my own sky,
so I have to leave them.
And now I'm alone,
I don't know what I'm doing here.
Learning in U of C,
and don't know what's gonna happen in the future.
How I wish I were the Oracle in that movie "The Matrix"!!